Your reply to my 072561 received by fast Dolphin,stop. Tropical routine is in force in Equatoria and Court will be unable to stay after 1200 in spite of exceptionally large numbers of novices reported by you, stop. King Neptune most ernestly desires the fullest co-operation of all his trusty subjects on board to expedite the orderly and rapid initiation of newcomers. Expect me to-night between 2100 and 2115, stop. 091459 Z. W/T PIL TOR 1510 ED 9.2.47. That something was afoot was further evidenced when, in the early evening, instead of the normal daily orders for the succeeding day being posted on the notice boards throughout the ship, certain ominous instructions were published. (See a copy of the Daily Disorders for Doomsday - Monday, 10th February, 1947). In consequence of the final paragraph of Doiphinius' signal 091459Z, the ship's company was piped to muster on the foc'sle at 2030 so as to witness the arrival on board of that gentleman and the strange creatures accompanying him. In a ship fitted with the most modern aids to navigation the time of arrival at the desired position can be determined with mathematical accuracy, and commencing five minutes before the appointed hour the following live broadcast of the procedure on the bridge was heard throughout the ship:- 2055. Introduction: "We are expected to reach the line very shortly, and from now onwards you will hear everything that takes place on the bridge." Captain . "How much further to the line, Pilot?" Navigating Officer "About two miles, sir, we shall be there in seven minutes." Captain . " Aye, aye." R.P. Rating . "Plot calling Bridge." 0.0.W. "BridgePlot." R.P. Rating . "New echo 180 degrees. 2 miles. This will be track ABLE. O.O.W. "New echo 180 degrees. 2 miles. Watch that echo. Captain, sir. Plot reports new echo right ahead, two miles." Captain. . " Aye, aye. It's probably the line, Pilot. Keep a good lookout, Officer of the Watch." O.O.W. . "Aye, aye, sir. R.P. Rating. "PlotBridge." O.O.W. "BridgePlot." |
The Passage Southward |
ON the night of Saturday, the 1st of February, 1947, H.M.S. Vanguard and her escort cleared the English Channel and immediately ran into bad weather, which persisted until the ship was in the vicinity of Madeira. The weather then set fair, and it was clear that her progress towards the Equator was not unnoticed, for this strange signal was intercepted in the early hours of Thursday, 6th February by one of H.M.S. Vanguard's Communication Staff while searching for Continental dance music when on watch at 0200 ----- INTERCEPT. EQUATORIAL GENERAL 777 ORIGINATOR RECEIVED CORRUPT. ROYAL Dist. FULL DIST. UNCLASSIFIED. Monitoring of world radio services indicates large vessel named Vanguard proceeding southwards on passage to South Africa, stop. No previous records of this vessel entering Equatorial Waters, stop. It is believed that ship contains exceptionally large number of novices and that passengers list include V.I.P.'s, stop. Cancel all long and short week-ends, stop. All available bears and police report to local regulating offices, who are to draft them to Longitude 9 degrees 30 minutes West by 0830 Monday next, stop. No meal order to be issued to bears travelling from below 500 fathoms. 060100 Feb. W/T P/L TOR 0203 JEG 6.2.47. On the following day a signal was recelved addressed to the ship:- Vanguard. COMMANDING OFFICER. DOLPHINIUS Clerk of Court to His Oceanic Majesty King Neptune. ROYAL DIST. FULL DIST. |
I have been instructed by King Neptune to inform you that it has been brought to his notice that certain London evening newspapers, dated Friday, 7th February, contain references to Equatorial General Message No. 777 broadcast recently, stop. 2. No direct message has yet been received from you, and it is desired to confirm that you are aware that South Africa can only be reached by passing through King Neptune' s realm, stop. 3. In view of the presence of his well-beloved friends, Their Britannic Majesties King George VI. and Queen Elizabeth, our King will be prepared to waive certain of the debts and dues usually paid by mariners on "Crossing the Line," stop. 4. It must be pointed out that, with the present rationing system still in operation in Equatoria, and with novices still on points, it would not be reasonable to excuse your vessel entirely from the traditional ceremony, stop. 5. You are therefore requested immediately to signal A. Number of novices borne. B. Names of representatives of following agencies believed to be on board (i) REUTERS. (ii) EXCHANGE TELEGRAPH. (iii) BRITISH BROADCASTING CORPORATION. 6. Note.Equatorial records show outstanding warrant for F. Gillard, believed to have crossed Equatoria in aircraft, thereby avoiding customary marks of respect. 072 561 W/T P/L TOR 2602 ED 7.2.47. In reply a signal was sent to Dolphinius expressing the Captain's desire to collaborate in the traditional proceedings and tendering his welcome to King Neptune, his Queen and Court. This was acknowledged in the following message received during the afternoon of the 9th of February:- Vanguard. COMMANDING OFFICER. DOLPHINIUS. ROYAL DIST. UNCLASSIFIED. 091455. |
Your reply to my 072561 received by fast Dolphin,stop. Tropical routine is in force in Equatoria and Court will be unable to stay after 1200 in spite of exceptionally large numbers of novices reported by you, stop. King Neptune most ernestly desires the fullest co-operation of all his trusty subjects on board to expedite the orderly and rapid initiation of newcomers. Expect me to-night between 2100 and 2115, stop. 091459 Z. W/T PIL TOR 1510 ED 9.2.47. That something was afoot was further evidenced when, in the early evening, instead of the normal daily orders for the succeeding day being posted on the notice boards throughout the ship, certain ominous instructions were published. (See a copy of the Daily Disorders for Doomsday - Monday, 10th February, 1947). In consequence of the final paragraph of Doiphinius' signal 091459Z, the ship's company was piped to muster on the foc'sle at 2030 so as to witness the arrival on board of that gentleman and the strange creatures accompanying him. In a ship fitted with the most modern aids to navigation the time of arrival at the desired position can be determined with mathematical accuracy, and commencing five minutes before the appointed hour the following live broadcast of the procedure on the bridge was heard throughout the ship:- 2055. Introduction: "We are expected to reach the line very shortly, and from now onwards you will hear everything that takes place on the bridge." Captain . "How much further to the line, Pilot?" Navigating Officer "About two miles, sir, we shall be there in seven minutes." Captain . " Aye, aye." R.P. Rating . "Plot calling Bridge." 0.0.W. "BridgePlot." R.P. Rating . "New echo 180 degrees. 2 miles. This will be track ABLE. O.O.W. "New echo 180 degrees. 2 miles. Watch that echo. Captain, sir. Plot reports new echo right ahead, two miles." Captain. . " Aye, aye. It's probably the line, Pilot. Keep a good lookout, Officer of the Watch." O.O.W. . "Aye, aye, sir. R.P. Rating. "PlotBridge." O.O.W. "BridgePlot." |
R.P. Rating . "Track Able 180. Very wide echo. Five new echoes on same bearing." O.O.W. "Aye, aye." Lookout " Object right ahead, sir. O.O.W. "Aye, aye." Captain "I can see it now. It's the line, Pilot, right on time." Navigating Officer "Yes, sir, I'm always pretty good at keeping my dates with mythological characters." O.O.W. "There are five objects just this side of the line, sir, bearing Green. Captain. "Aye, aye." Distant Voice. " Ship ahoy! Captain. "They are hailing us." Nearer Voice. "Ship ahoy! ship ahoy! What ship are you and whether are you bound?" Captain. "His Britannic Majesty's Ship Vanguard bound Cape Town. Who are you?" Voice . "I am Doiphinius, Clerk of the Court to His Majesty King Neptune of the Seven Seas whose dominions you are about to enter." Captain "I crave His Majesty's pardon and request permission to enter his domain." Voice . "You are required to hold your ship hove to until I have come aboard to read a proclamation to you from His Most Oceanic Majesty." Captain. "Stop both engines. Half speed astern both engines." O.O.W. "Stop both engines. Half speed astern both engines." Captain. "My ship is stopped and I shall feel most honoured by your visit. Voice . " I approach from the deep with fire and water." At this moment green flame and dense smoke were seen to be coming from the hawse pipes, and rockets streaked skywards. The flash and noise of exploding fireworks, the flame and glare of Roman candles and flares hid the bows of the ship from the spectators. |